The intelligence of emotion

Emotional Intelligence is the new wave. EI is an overarching model in today's social and professional environments. The core elements of EI; self awareness, self-managment, social awareness and relationship management come together consecutively to create an atmosphere of learning and growth for anyone willing to look internally, which in turn allows us to become a healing presence. Becoming a healing presence as we have learned will encompass many attributes of self-worth. I truely believe all aspects of EI are essential.  Daniel Goleman focuses on EI in the workplace and I couldn't agree more that EI is a very valuable asset to have or bring to the table as an employee. I'm learning in my industry that it very difficult to find employees that are empathetic, compassionate or selfless. Most applicants feel if they come with experience they have an automatic foot in the door. I am finding that EI is more of an attribute that reading and math as Daniel explains as basic skills. Skills which can be taught. EI cannot be taught unless one is willing to look inside. 

My strengths from the ESIC inventory are self-awareness, positive outlook, coach, mentor and influence, and I will strive to continue with the practice of request and big questions to harbor learning and growth in these areas. Self management has been a total curve ball in my life not only the last few years but especially now that I am really paying attention to it. The observer practice has by far been the most influential. As I continue to observe and really witness the thoughts and perceptions in my daily interactions I can definitly do more thinking through the big picture. As I'm learning that I'm a do'er, I tend to quickly react to get a job done and not really think about all persons, feelings and reactions involved. Utilizing the observer practice (and maintaining a focused and calm emotion) I am learning the skill of pause and act.  I am pleased to find that coaching and influence are my strengths. As I spoke earlier in the course, I tend to be really hard on myself and seeing what I thought to be strengths in black and white gave me a boost of confidence. 

Relationship managment I believe is a core element to becoming an effective coach. With success in this quadrant, the other 3 elements must be present and in our awareness. Effective coaching is defined in this quadranct as developing rather than teaching, and helping people find their way. 

Public Energy

I'd like to reflect on a particular meditative practice this week that was full of learning, challenges and surprises. I sat in a busy cafe with 3 people from my inspiration community. Our task was to meditate 30 minutes together. We chose Starbucks at Harbour Center (Annapolis) Quite a happening place on a Sunday morning may I add. I wasn't sure how this was going to go, but I was open to the possibilities. The first few minutes were very challenging as the movements around me were amplified and distracting. I found myself saying, "this is going to be impossible." I could feel the energy around me; although it was a Sunday morning the movement of everyone felt rushed. The quick turning of newspaper pages, the rushed conversations, people falling over chairs, etc. I then began my integrative breathing, allowing my whole body to be with the breath. I learned that once I focused internally and really became one with the present moment the outside chatter began to diminish. Since we were breathing for 30 minutes I took it slow. I started at my root chakra, breathed red, told myself, "I am fully alive," and then the magic happened...the SURPRISE! I was fully engaged in my meditation. I went through each chakra, breathing every color, really feeling those parts of my body. The energy was pumping, the breath was present, and I was floating. I'm not sure if it was the environment I was in, the positive energy of the people I was with, or the mere fact that I just let go. Nonetheless, it was an ivigorating experience that I will cherrish and remember. The young lady across the table from me commented on the amazing energy she felt from me. I'm grateful that not only did I experience it, so did she!

Breath with me

Another moment of surrender, to my loving God, my higher power, my universe. I sat today in an empty parking lot, tears forming in my eyes, with my own defamation of character and the wanting to just hide. Where does this come from? I have so much to be grateful for. I lost a dear friend today, not to the heavens but to his own self-will. The realization is, was this friend really a friend? What went so wrong that the need emerged to remove me from life. I owned this behavior, I blamed myself, I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity and remorse. What I could have done differently? Then the tools began to shine, from the knowledge of the love, from my own reflection of past experiences; this is not mine to own. These thoughts are formed from a deep fear of rejection and the need for acceptance. I turned to google: Lecrae says, "You live for their acceptance, you die from their rejection." Yes! My dear friend tells me to remember that the Universe gives us what we need at exactly the right time. This couldn't be more true. The week was a reflection of self-compassion.