As I swung from 2 tall pines in my hammock during a 24-hour vision quest I found so very much to be grateful for; the graceful movement of the creatures of the forest, the swaying of the grasses and how they flowed in the rhythm of my breath, and the symphonic harmony of the crickets. I asked myself, although I feel and know I am grateful for these things, where does this gratitude come from? It hit me out of nowhere, gratitude is a form of life, of surrender to the moment and I connected with all of it, to all of it. I embraced it, breathed into it and cried with the overwhelming feeling of love and joy. The week prior I had been listing what I was grateful for on G160, some of which were: the blue skies, my mom, my breath, my God and it wasn’t until I was alone with myself and the earth that I understood what it all meant. Inspiration and my studies at MUIH have come together to teach me a very valuable lesson in life; it’s not just the words of gratitude, but what it feels like, how the emotion pushes on and holding on to the presence of it for as long as possible. Yes to life! Yes to gratitude! Yes to Oneness.
Strengths are the next best thing to be grateful for. I recently took a survey call the VIA survey of Character Strengths. My top 5 strengths miraculously were exactly what I expected them to be. Again swinging from 2 small pines I pondered my strengths and how I embrace them. I'm grateful for my reflections...
Looking in the mirror I usually see past myself, like a flash of light passing through a subway window. I see where correction needs to be done, the blemishes that needs covered, the eyelashes that aren’t long enough, the lips that look dull, the nose that is too round. All negative, all imperfections, all hatred. This week I prepared myself to look in the mirror and only search for beauty and excellence, and that is exactly what I found. It took a while, some tears had formed but I saw it, I saw me. I saw the beauty in myself, the creation I was. I stared at myself for quite some time, smiling, laughing, and feeling the love that I had never felt before. I liked what I saw. I’m ok with me. A revelation! An imperfect perfection.
Curiosity and interest in the world was vehemently apparent during my vision. I believe I went into the woods at approximately high noon given I was not permitted with any electronics or a watch. So I got curious and I got interested. How did the world work according to these principles? I have never had to tell time from the sun. I experimented for the next 24 hours, guessing what time it was. I still to this day am not sure how correct I was, but that is what keeps it interesting. The purity and perfection of time was of no value. I had become to enjoy this new sense of curiosity. Other areas of the strength were my studies of the way nature lives, the birds that fly from one tree to the next, seeking food, in an upside down state. It was as if they were clinging to the underside of the branch just so that I could see them. They were showing me their strengths!
Social intelligence is another way of saying, “I’m an empath!” A year and a half ago I went to dinner with several friends to send off a dear friend who was moving to an Ashram in Florida. His Aunt attended and happened to sit next to me. Little did I know she is a psychic and insisted on reading my palm. It was then I was told I had the markings of an empath. I did a little research back then, and really what I found out was that I now understand why I am so emotional in relationship to the sufferings or joys that happen to people around me. It wasn’t until this past week that I was sitting by the Bay with a friend and we embarked on a conversation discussing energy. I noticed that I had been able to absorb and feel the energies of others and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. As I explained the phenomenon to him, he had some doubt but supported my findings. I explored a little once I arrived home and found this was common with empaths. At first I was unsure, a bit frustrated and little scared, but I turned my perception and looked at it from another angle. I could use this as a benefit. I am in the field of Coaching and Breathwork and what better quality or skill to have than to connect to and understand the energies of people. I wowed myself on this one!
Creativity, ingenuity and originality are a work all in itself. I find that as I walk through my days, sometimes I’m quick to judge, quick to act or quick to hide. As I’ve always seen this as a negative quality, I’ve shifted my philosophy to see these things as areas to improve, but to focus on the awareness that I have of them today. Two and half years ago during the peak of my addiction, I had no idea who I was, where I was or what I had to offer this life. Through a 12-step program and awakening I am able to hold dear the creative side of me, the ingenuity of connection and originality. I finally reflected on this strength, saw a creative side of me this week, and made my website and facebook page public. I had been balking on this for several weeks, as my ego told me it wasn’t good enough, it wasn’t creative, no one would like it. Through embracing my authentic happiness I took a chance and I’m grateful!
Last but not least is gratitude. I’ve catapulted this strength in exponential numbers this week. Reflecting on the vision quest I was a part of, the three blessings exercise and sitting with the authenticity of my 5 greatest strengths, I couldn’t be more grateful. The Universe has opened up a whole new journey for me and I’m eager to embark on a new chapter.
It is empowering to remember that we must take care of ourselves and find a balance in our lives. As we reflect on our ups and downs, strengths and gratitude we can then share our experience. Just as I experienced behavior change over the last 2 weeks, the experience of practicing these exercises is what creates the memory to draw on in our brain and in our minds. If we attach positivity to that memory we can recall a change of good. The lessons of all of this add another level of mindfulness to my toolbox. The more experiences I engage in and reflect upon the more varieties of tools I have to pull from.
