Scribbles of Struggles

Lost in translation of what my mind thinks it thinks. Do I go or do I stay. Since I have opened my energy centers and given myself permission to look inside myself I'm finding a host of vulnerability. My perception of boys, work, love, strengths, weaknesses and passions are just to name a few. For years I was sure I knew who I was. Who was I kidding. Today I am finding that I have no clue, well yesterday I have no clue, today the questions are starting to shine. They say that our journey is unfolding exactly as it is supposed to. When I was using I was convinced that life existed inside a drink.  The color of the booze, the shine of the bottle, the effects all defined who I was after that first drink. As I look deep within myself today (which I didn't know could be inifinity) I'm finding that there is a lot to learn.

I've learned of a new person. Loving and lovable, smart and articulate, open and shy, a dancer, a writer and a coach. When we open ourselves to new opportunities and walk through the unknown; life awaits.  The shell of me carried a dormant soul for many decades. Recently passions have evolved that I never knew possible. For years I assumed I had figured it all out. The purpose of life was to work, eat and walk as fast as possible to get to the next window. Today I find peace is the purpose and living a life of love and presence. Days come and go and we can not rewind. To live in the present moment was a foreign concept. What does this mean, how does one do this, what does it feel like. These are the questions my soul wondered but could not declare. Centuries come and go in a blink of an eye. The universe gives us all the wonders we need to live fulfilling, meaningful lives an we greedy people take and take and take. We start our path as part of a vibration of the universe. It's pulsating day and night, naked to the human sense. We give and take vibrations of love, humility and service to find peace